Clarity?

I've been temping at a new job and the insanity is finally winding down. In this instance insanity is defined as working 14 days straight with overtime sprinkled on top. * Children? I have children? Oh, yeah, I remember them. They're cute.* Type of thing. A birthday that passed by and made me think, really think of where I am and where I want to be in life. Not to mention one of my days off was spent at a funeral for a beloved family member. So as an understatement these past two months has been a little crazy.

And all of it has changed my clarity on so many issues. Since this is a blog about writers...

The definition of published is not in the eye of the beholder, but definitely why one wants to be published is. And in those quiet moments I've asked myself why do I want to published. With only enough time to sleep and eat writing has been pushed to the back burner for the first time in many years.

I mean, the people I work with don't know that I write. Let alone that I'm published. I'm a little ashamed to say I find this freeing. I'm not asked "When is the next book coming out?" So there is no answer that makes me feel like a failure in some way. Maybe that just means I need to have that separation of church and state i.e. Melissa the person and Melissa the writer.

But I think it means I need to find clarity on why I want to be published. The answer is there, but like I write I need to fill in the middle, which I dread. The thing is the answer won't be what it used to be. At least not the one I used to have secretly, but now it's because being published means having a career in something I'm absolutely passionate about. But first I have to get to the answer. I have to fill in those blank spaces between the question and the answer in order to know how to proceed.

Why do you want to be published? What was your journey from the question to the answer?